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School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor

all your life, so that you can die rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up, to give you

sleeping pills.

Marriage: An agreement  in which  a man loses

his  bachelor degree and  a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Lecture: An art of  transferring information from the

notes of  the Lecturer to the notes of the students

without   passing through ”the minds of either” 

Conference:The cofusion of  one man  multiplied

by the  number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake  in such a

way that everybody believes  he got the biggest

piece.

Dictionary: A place where  success  comes before

work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks,

nobody listens and everybody  disagrees  later on.

Father: A banker  provided by nature.

Criminal:A guy  no different from the rest…except

that  he got caught.

Boss: Someone   who is early  when you are late

when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before election

 and your confidence after.

Doctor: Aperson who kills your ills by pills and kills you

by bills.

Classic: Books , which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:  A place where you can relax after your strenuous

home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men  ever get to open

their mouth.

Etc.,: A sign to make others believe that you know  more

than  you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually

and sit to  decide that nothing can be done  together.

Experience: The name  men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life

to be spoken of  when dead.

Source:Collection.  

 

 

Quotes And Sayings.

1.The thing most frequently opened by mistake is mouth.

-Saying.

2. A man’s  fortune has its form given  to it  by his habits.

-Saying.

3. You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over

your head but you can prevent them from building nests in

your hair.

-Chinese proverb.

4.You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

-Saying.

5.Our doubts are our traitors and make us loose the good

we often might have win by  fearing to attempt.

-Shakespeare.

6. If you dislike people, you make yourself dislikable.

-Harry Lorayne.

7.The true art of memory is the art of attention.

-Samuel Johnson.

8.Growing old is not so much of a problem as the fear of

being old.

-Dr.Theodore  R. Van Dellen.

9.Dost thou love life? Then  do not squander time, for

that is the stuff, life is made of.

-Benjamin Franklin.

10.Learning is a wealth to the poor, an honoue to the rich,

an aid to the young and a support and comfort to the aged.

-John C.Lavatar.

11.In order to reap an act, sow a thought.

-G.D.Boardman.

12. Statistical data are like a miniskirt; it gives lot of

13information, yet hides the most vital facts.

14.The sandalwood tree perfumes the axe, that cuts it.

15.Be not angry that you cannot make others as you

wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself entirely

as you wish to be.

-Thomas A. Kempis.

16.A truth that is told with bad intent, beats all the lies

you can invent.

William Blake.

17. He that wrestles with us, strengthens  our nerves and

sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.

-Edmund Burke.

18.D’ont work hard, but work smart.
19.Winners never quit; quitters never win.
20.A sincere effort is like a prayer and it is bound to
be answered.

Source:Collection.

 

Famous Women.

1.Hansa Jivraj Mehta was the first woman Vice Chancellor

of  S.N.D.T.Women’s University.

2.Dr. Aban Mistry is one of India’s first woman Tabla player.

3.Kishwar Zubin Nasreen is the first Muslim woman head of

Department of Sanskrit at Allahabad Uuniversity.

4.Clara Barton, known as the ”Angel of Battlefield” was an

educator , nurse and founder of the ” American Red Cross”

5.Janet Yellen is an American economist. She is the Chairperson

of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System.

6.Jayadevi Taayi Ligade is a prominent  woman writer of

Kannada. She was the first President of 48th Kannada

Sahitya Parishattu.(meeting of kannada writers)

7.Mahadevi Verma was an outstanding Hindi poetess

and a freedom fighter. She was a women’s activist and

educationist. She was the Principal  and then vice

Chancellor of  Prayag  Mahila Vidyapeeth, a weman’s

residential college in Allahabad. She is widely regarded

as Modern Meera.

8.Hydna of Scione was an ancient Greek swimmer and diver

given credit for the destruction of the Persian navy around

480B.C.

9.Veronica Mitshelle was the first female President of Chile,

from 2006 to 2010. In December 2013, she was re-elected

as President of Chile, with over 62% of vote and she was the

first  person since 1932 to win the Presidency of her country

twice in competitive elections. She was also the first executive

director of the United Nations Entity for  Gender Equality

and the Empowerment of Women.(U.N.Women.)

10.Caroline Herschel was a German astronomer,

(1750 to 1848).She was the first female scientist

to  discover several comets and nebulae.

11.Julia Tuttle(B:January 22, 1849; D:September 14,

1898)was an American business woman. She was

responsible for and the original owner of the land

upon which Miami, Florida was built.She is called

the ”Mother of Miami” She is the only woman to

found a major American city.

Source:Collection.